


You Have One New Message

by DopamineX



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Changkyun is just mentioned.. sorry Kyunnie, Just a bit of Showho here and there coz I love Showho as well hehe, M/M, Model Hyungwon, Mutual Pining, N no.. it’s not about txt messages lol, Rushed ending is rushed because it just is, ShowHyung Rise!, fluff?, idk what else to tag this... i might add more tags later on, swimmer hyunwoo, they’re meant to be y’all!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-05-28 11:12:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19392946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DopamineX/pseuds/DopamineX
Summary: Son Hyunwoo falls utterly and completely in love with Chae Hyungwon, a new student who is a top model in South Korea.Though he feels Hyungwon is way out of his league, he is determined to express his feelings.What he doesn’t know is that his feelings are reciprocated.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hyungwoniie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyungwoniie/gifts).



> This is for my inspiration, Ash  
> Ash you’re an angel, I love you! ❤️

“Ah! I see you have seen the latest addition to our highschool. A _gorgeous_ addition.” Hoseok nudged Hyunwoo as he stared after the tall and gorgeous new guy who had walked away from him after crashing into him in the hallway on the way to his class.

“Huh? Did you say something?” Hyunwoo turned around to Hoseok as he took his books out and shut his locker.

“The guy who crashed into you! He is _gorgeous!_ Nevermind.” Hoseok rolled his eyes as he pulled Hyunwoo to walk to their next class of the day. The one before lunch.

“His name is Chae Hyungwon, by the way. In case you wanted to know.” Hoseok playfully wiggled his eyebrows, making Hyunwoo raise one eyebrow and then dropping it as he nodded slowly.

“Thanks for letting me know, I guess.”

“Maybe he’ll have some classes with us. You can continue your ogling sessions then!”

Hyunwoo looked at him with a clueless expression and Hoseok sighed loudly. “God, Hyunwoo. Nevermind… Where’s your head at…?”

Hyunwoo’s head felt like it was stuck in the clouds ever since that tall and angelic dirty blond male crashed into him as he was walking to his locker. The guy had apologised and Hyunwoo had bent down along with him and helped him collect his fallen books. The angelic guy had thanked him and left after giving him a breathtaking smile. It had left Hyunwoo feeling speechless. So yeah, that’s where his head was.

They turned a corner and neared their classroom. And Hyunwoo saw the same tall, beautiful guy walking towards them from the direction of the men’s washroom with nothing in his hands and then walk into the same class they were going to enter.

“Would you look at that! Handsome new guy already has a class with us. Congrats, Hyunwoo-ssi.” Hoseok held out a hand for his friend to shake who smiled amusedly and shook the hand offered to him.

They closed the distance between the class and themselves and entered it after Hoseok swung open the door.

*

Hyunwoo had finished his assignments and studying for the day and crashed onto his bed and reached out towards the switchboard to flick the lights off.

The room got plunged into darkness and Hyunwoo ran a hand through his hair and down his face.

It had been more than three months since he had crashed into Mr.McGorgeous (aka part-time model and new guy Chae Hyungwon) and he couldn’t stop thinking about him.

He was seriously _the most gorgeous guy_ Hyunwoo had ever seen in his life.

Before seeing him, Hyunwoo had never had a guy stuck in his heart and mind.

Before last year, he hadn’t even been sure about his sexuality!

He had known deep inside that he liked guys as well, along with girls. But his mind and heart just wouldn’t accept that he was what was called bisexual.

Maybe he had even been a little homophobic, if he was being honest.

But last year, Hyunwoo had finally come to terms with his sexuality, thanks to his best friend Lee Hoseok.

But Hoseok had never been stuck in his mind like this. They were just best friends who fucked. With no feelings attached. At least not anymore. Even Hoseok had moved on after a while. After he had laid eyes on Yoo Kihyun at this year’s beginning-of-the-year party. Kihyun had always been there in their school but Hoseok had never noticed him, thanks to being so in love with Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo had never been in love with Hoseok. He _loved_ his best friend and acknowledged that he was _extremely hot and handsome_ but Hoseok hadn’t distracted him like this, capturing his entire mind and all thoughts like this for himself.

Everytime he shut his eyes, Chae Hyungwon’s image flashed behind his eyelids.

His dazzling, big eyes haunted his dreams and Hyunwoo woke up in the mornings with an urge to do _something_ about the way he was feeling.

He probably had a crush on the guy. Okay, duh. That’s why he was feeling this way. He definitely hadn’t felt like this for _any_ guy before, not even Hoseok.

But.. he supposed three months was enough time to develop at least a medium sized crush on someone.

Either way it was rather distracting that his mind conjured up the blond’s image everywhere he went, only for Hyunwoo to realize the guy wasn’t even there.

The sad part wasn’t his mind and eyes playing tricks on him. No.

It was not having enough classes with the guy and being too busy with college work and his swimming practices to actually try to get to know him!

It was his senior year after all. He had to get into a good university!

They had just three classes together, out of seven. They were homeroom, higher economics and dance. You don’t consider Homeroom a class. It was just a period.

He couldn’t exactly stare at the guy in Economics because it was called Higher for a reason and if he didn’t pay attention, he’d fail the class.

That gave him only Dance and Homeroom. They didn’t even share physical education together.

And obviously Chae Hyungwon was an extremely talented dancer. _Obviously_. Apparently, Mr.McGorgeous had been enrolled in a dance academy back in Gwangju, where he had moved here from!

Just what Hyunwoo needed to fall even more for the guy. The graceful way his long, milky white limbs, which had a hint of golden tan, moved as he danced around the room made Hyunwoo sprout heart eyes and spout involuntary sighs. And made his subconscious give him dreams in which they danced together, sexily. Yeah, his mind hated him. 

Hyungwon had his own circle of friends, all good looking guys and girls. Hyunwoo felt kind of… unattractive compared to those people. Especially compared to the angel he was drawn to lately.

He truly _was_ an angel with his ethereal face, lanky yet slightly muscular built, deep and musical voice. Yeah, Hyunwoo definitely had a crush. A huge one.

Hyungwon had literally come out of nowhere, right at beginning of their senior and last year of high school, and now his old self-esteem issues had started to resurface.

He used to have them during middle school when he had been a chubby kid and puberty had not hit him that well, yet. Then he had taken up swimming and he had been a quick learner. And now here he was, best swimmer their school had ever had. And thankfully puberty had done wonders to his face and voice, at least his best friend, Hoseok, thought so anyway.

He kept telling him that he had an amazing body and an even more amazing face. And a super deep voice which had hints of honey in it that made people fall for him.

Well, Hoseok would know, Hyunwoo supposed.

Hoseok was bisexual as well.

Unlike Hyunwoo, he had accepted his sexuality rather quickly.

He trusted Hoseok to not lie to him (though his opinions were probably biased).

Not after the younger had come back to Hyunwoo’s place with him last year, completely drunk from the beginning-of-the-junior-year party and had pressed Hyunwoo against his room’s wall to kiss him senseless, all the while muttering in the spaces in between how sexy and gorgeous Hyunwoo was and how Hoseok just couldn’t control himself anymore, because Hyunwoo drove him insane.

Hyunwoo had let the younger kiss him and had even kissed the younger back, all the while trying to get the younger closer and closer, because he had liked it. _A lot._ Hoseok’s lips had felt soft and plush against his own and he had quite enjoyed the intense play of lips on lips. He liked being wanted so badly. His self-esteem issues literally vanished after that.

Hoseok had continued to kiss and caress every inch of skin he could find and it just felt _right_ to Hyunwoo. And he had wanted more.

Somewhere at the back of his mind he had felt he was doing something wrong, kissing a guy, a drunk guy. Not just any guy but his best friend since forever.

But he had been quite tipsy himself after the party, though he hadn’t drunk as much as his best friend.

So he hadn’t exactly been thinking rationally.

Especially not when Hoseok had dropped to his knees and had without a word unzipped his ripped jeans, pulling them down to his knees. He had proceeded to lick him through his thin white boxers before pulling his erection out and swallowing him down inch by inch.

That night Hyunwoo had received _the best blowjob ever in his life!_

They had fooled around for the entire year after that day. They still did at times when they needed their fix of pleasure.

Hoseok came over a lot, right after school. Like always. But the frequency had increased since last year after they’d kissed.

Hyunwoo had been pretty conflicted over having a friends-with-benefits thing with his best friend. Especially since he wasn’t in love with Hoseok.

But now Hoseok was pining over Kihyun. And they kinda just used each other as a way to relieve their sexual frustrations.

So Hyunwoo supposed he wasn’t that bad of a person.

And like always Hyunwoo’s thoughts came back to Hyungwon.

He closed his eyes and the younger’s enchanting face popped up behind his eyelids.

He sat up and groaned as he ran his fingers through his hair over and over.

He wanted to text Hoseok that he was coming over _right now_ to fuck him senseless and have his way with him. To remove this Chae Hyungwon from his head.

But that wasn’t how people normally functioned.

It was just that it was his first time ever to fall for a guy. He kinda wished Chae Hyungwon had never joined their school. He was distracting Hyunwoo in his crucial last year when he needed to give his all to get in somewhere good.

He’d figured he might never get a chance to get close to Hyungwon. Not if their schedules were set up like this.

The gorgeous model probably didn’t even know of his existence. Sadly. He didn’t seem like the sporty kind (so knowing members of the swimming team was out) and had modelling gigs after school on a regular basis. He was probably busier than Hyunwoo.

From what he had heard and seen, Hyungwon was quite popular in the modelling world and had appeared on the pages of all major magazines like Vogue and Allure. Twice even on the front page, posing with some K-Pop idol. He was soon going to do some ad for some juice or something.

He was way beyond Hyunwoo’s league.

But his feelings were just increasing day by day and Hyunwoo was only losing time every passing day.

And getting busier because he had a swim meet soon, the practice for which made him lag behind in his school work, the one that happened in the middle of each semester. And soon a national level competition was going to be held and by some luck, Hyunwoo had been selected to participate.

He doubted he’d win but he was extremely honoured and happy to even be chosen for something on such a large scale!

But that just meant he’d get still busier.

And now he definitely couldn’t sleep.

The gorgeous boy’s deep laugh, his breathtaking smile, his plump lips and thick, luscious hair just made Hyunwoo more and more restless and awake.

Not to mention his milky white complexion, and slim, shapely legs that he had seen thanks to his gym shorts, on a fateful day when their P.E period had somehow been at the same hour, really proved that he was an angel descended from the Heavens.

He had to do _something_ about his feelings!

Hyunwoo groaned in frustration and laid back down with a dull thud.

He couldn’t exactly go to the boy and ask him out. His angel didn’t even know him. Maybe he knew “of him”. But he doubted someone that ethereal would say yes to him anyway.

He let out a pathetic whine before something akin to a lightbulb clicked on in his head.

He immediately sat up again and clicked the lights on.

He blinked a few times to adjust his eyes to the sudden bright light that filled his room.

Once his eyes got used to the light, he rushed to his study table and pulled out the wooden chair and sat down.

He opened his drawer and found his set of post-its. He took it out along with a pen and a notebook he used to practise solving problems in.

He was _not_ backing down without his feelings being expressed.

And he was going to stand out from the rest of Hyungwon’s admirers while doing so.

He had his best friend Lee Hoseok with him after all.

*

Hyungwon opened his locker to see the usual volley of love letters and secret admirer notes tumble down to the floor.

He sighed as an amused smile played at his lips.

He piled them all up and straightened to drop them all into the big bag at the back of his locker that he had got for this very purpose.

It had been barely four months since he transferred to this high school in Seoul from Gwangju after he had started making his mark in the modelling world, along with his best friend and childhood friend, Lee Minhyuk (now housemate because Hyungwon lived with Minhyuk and his parents) who had moved to Seoul with his mother once his dad had settled in the capital city and given them the green light to pack their belongings and move here as well.

It was quite surprising (but not really, if Hyungwon thought about it, but he was humble and down-to-earth so he didn’t think about it) that after such a short period he was already receiving confessions, in person and in love letters, on a regular, almost-daily, basis.

Just as he was stuffing that day’s bunch of notes and letters, and candy into his bag, someone covered his eyes from behind.

“Minie.” He said in a bored tone though a cute and genuine smile played on his lips.

“Right answer, gorgeous.” Minhyuk whispered into his ear and Hyungwon chuckled as his best friend dropped his hands and spun him around to embrace him tightly.

“Hi, my love! Long time, no see, beautiful!” Minhyuk squealed and then pulled back, making Hyungwon laugh.

“Minie, we legit got dropped to school together by your dad-“

“Shh!” Minhyuk silenced him by placing a finger on his plump lips. “Nonsense! So what? It’s still a long time to be separated from my gorgeous platonic soulmate! Okay, not-so-platonic. Details, details!”

Hyungwon laughed again. Minhyuk was his sunshine and he loved him with all his heart. They had dated ages ago but yeah, God no. Minhyuk was _too_ cheerful and bright for Hyungwon’s taste and Hyungwon was _too_ much of a lazy turtle who couldn’t work with the sunshine and ball of energy called Lee Minhyuk.

They had decided they’d just be friends.

But that didn’t stop the older ash blond from occasionally showering Hyungwon’s face with kisses, sometimes dropping a tiny one on his lips, and cuddling and hugging him to death. Minhyuk was just affectionate that way! And though Hyungwon grumbled about it, he secretly loved it and Minhyuk knew that perfectly well.

Minhyuk pulled his cheeks with his fingers, a little painfully. But before Hyungwon could complain, he dropped tiny wet kisses on both soft cheeks and grinned widely at the younger.

Hyungwon rolled his eyes and turned back to his locker.

Then something caught his eye.

“Oooh! Now, that’s different! A post-it with a red rose taped next to it!”

Hyungwon eyes widened for a second before he carefully freed the rose from the cello tape that had it stuck on the inside of his locker door. And then pulled down the pink post-it note.

“Read it!”

“I’m not reading it aloud….”

Minhyuk whined and then peeped over his shoulder to read along with him.

_Your beautiful eyes and deep, musical voice haunt my dreams,_

_For they have made my mind and soul their own._

_You, the owner of my red racing heart, definitely have a heart more golden than your luscious hair;_

_Hair which shines as if a crown, made of sunlight, upon it has grown!_

  
PS. _Sorry. I’m not really poetic. Or good with rhyming words. But I’m working on it!_

_I hope you have an amazing morning and even more amazing day, Mr.McGorgeous._

_I hope I made you smile that beautiful smile, at least a little._

_With love,_

_S._

“Wow.” Minhyuk breathed as they both finished reading it together. “That was really cute. Mr.McGorgeous huh.. and a red rose. I don’t think you ever got a red rose in your locker, Hyungwon.”

“I know, right.” Hyungwon said as he smiled a shy smile as he twirled the red beauty by its stem with his fingers.

“They even learnt the passcode to your locker! The effort! I don’t know, Wonnie. You get a lot of such messages but to me it was hella cute! Why can’t I get someone like this!”

Hyungwon chuckled and then hummed as he stuck the rose back on the inside of his locker door with the same cello tape he hadn’t thrown away and stuck the post-it on the inside of the cover of his Higher Economics notebook.

“Definitely made my morning. Now come on.”

Hyungwon shut his locker door and Minhyuk matched his stride as they walked to their Homeroom, which was followed by Higher Economics.

Both of them didn’t see a smiling Hyunwoo and a grinning Hoseok at the end of the row of lockers.


	2. Chapter 2

“Wonnie! Ooh! See!” Minhyuk patted his arm urgently and Hyungwon just grunted while keeping his eyes trained on his phone screen.

His manager had just messaged that he would have a shoot for some minor magazine soon after school and Hyungwon was busy texting him an ‘Okay. Roger that. Just pick me up as usual from my friend’s place. Or from school. Whatever suits you.’

His manager messaged him saying ‘Your friend’s place is fine. Get some food and rest. Shoot is in like two hours after school ends.’

Hyungwon sent a thumbs up just as Minhyuk slapped his arm to catch his attention.

“What the fuck is your problem, zagiya?” Hyungwon gritted out and then looked in the direction his best friend was looking in. 

And saw Son Hyunwoo walk in with his friend Lee Hoseok.

_ Damn…  _

“The guy who you’ve crushing for some two months now.” Minhyuk huffed out, a little offended by Hyungwon’s swearing.

“Sorry, jagi,” Hyungwon murmured as his eyes remained fixed on the Adonis who took his seat diagonally opposite his, at the far end of the row ahead of his, near the window.

“He really is hella fine, Wonnie baby!” Minhyuk stared at his crush with dreamy eyes and Hyungwon nudged him sharply in the ribs.

“Ouch!” Minhyuk glared at him and Hyungwon glared back. “Yes, I know. But watch it. He is  _ mine. _ ”

“Ooh! Someone is possessive. Too possessive for a guy who is a complete coward and won’t do anything about his crush.”

Hyungwon turned red and averted his gaze to his phone. He slipped it into his pocket and just hummed. “It’s just a little crush, Min. Anyway, he doesn’t even look my way…”

“Well, homeroom is pretty short. Twenty minutes. Then in Higher Economics if you don’t concentrate, you’ll fail. You have no other classes together. And in Dance, I don’t know what happens ‘cause I have music with this cutie called Jooheon during that hour! God, Wonnie! He is adorable! I’ll ask him out someday! But apparently he is a bigshot… already signed to some label called Starship Entertainment or something….” Minhyuk pouted as he fiddled with his fingers.

Hyungwon sighed loudly and hummed again.

Yeah, they were pretty doomed. 

“Whatever. It’s just a crush, Minhyukie. It’ll pass.”

“True… You know what, Wonnie...”

He looked up to see his friend ogling that golden skinned muscle god who sat across the room.

“Your love-“

“I don’t love him, Minie. It’s just a crush.”

“Sure, sure. Yet you get so possessive. Anyway, so I heard that he got selected for the nationals.  _ Only  _ him from the whole school. Probably district. He is a bigshot…”

“Meaning, one, I’m screwed. Two, I’m gonna see him even lesser now! Fucking fantastic! Right, Minie baby?!”

Hyungwon pumped the air with his fist and smiled with fake enthusiasm.

Minhyuk pursed his lips and shrugged.

“We’re both screwed. Don’t worry. I’m here by your side always.”

“I know, zagiya. I know. I’m here for you, too.”

Minhyuk snorted. “That guy with him is super cute as well!”

“Don’t bother. He likes that short tempered guy with even shorter height called Yoo Kihyun.. well, he stares at him in Higher Economics before class. And I guess they have Korean literature together. I don’t know. That short dude has AP English with me. And he keeps gushing about his crush on Hoseok to this guy called Changkyun, who sits with him in front of me. I don’t know now.”

“What a bummer... Why can’t I get hot guys, Wonnie?”

“I don’t know. You probably ruined our luck by dating me. Maybe we are destined to date only one hot and sweet guy in our life, and you ruined that by jumping on my bed and kissing me to death in middle school.”

“Aww! You think I’m hot and sweet! Have I told you I love you?” Minhyuk kissed his cheek and Hyungwon rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, you have. Many times. And that’s what you caught out of everything I said..”

“Duh. I can’t handle your pessimistic ass. My optimistic self needs positivity!”

“Yeah, okay, Mr.Sunshine.” Hyungwon rolled his eyes again.

“Keep doing that and one morning you’ll wake up with your eyeballs lying on the floor…”

Hyungwon didn’t dignify that with a response and instead saved his breath to stare at his crush across the room.

His breath caught in his throat when he locked eyes with the greek god who immediately looked away.

“Oh my God! He was looking at you!” Minhyuk squeezed his hand.

“Uh, yeah. No. He wasn’t. Shut up.” Hyungwon shook his head hard as if to remove that beautiful image of the hottie looking at him. 

“But-“

“Shut it. I don’t want useless false hope. He doesn’t like me anyway…”

Minhyuk pouted and then looked away when their homeroom teacher walked in.

Both of them didn’t see Hyunwoo give Hyungwon one last wistful look before looking ahead.

*

The next day morning Hyungwon opened his locker to see another sticky note and rose stuck on the inside of his locker door. But the rose was yellow and the post-it was orange. And next to it was stuck another post-it of yellow colour, this one blank on both sides.

Hyungwon furrowed his eyebrows as he pulled down the orange sticky note from the metal door.

_ Roses are red and violets are blue _

_ You may not know this but I’m a guy like you.. _

_ Well, not like you because you’re too gorgeous to be true! _

_ But the fact that I’m a guy, I felt would be better if you knew… _

_ In case this makes you uncomfortable, please leave the yellow post-it stuck. If I see it stuck the next time I come to leave a note, then.. this one you’re reading right now will be the last I’ll ever leave for you. _

_ You really mean a lot to me and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or grossed out in any way.. _

_ But either way, please accept my yellow rose. I have heard that yellow roses signify friendship. :) _

_ With love, _

_ S. _

  
  


Hyungwon immediately pocketed the orange note and looked at the yellow rose with affection as he lightly ran the tips of his fingers over the soft petals. Then his gaze shifted to the yellow empty post-it which he pulled down and dropped into the bag placed at the back of the locker, with a tiny pout playing on his lips and a crease squeezing in between his eyebrows.

He shut the locker door and took his AP English books and walked away to his Homeroom class, his eyes lighting up at the prospect of seeing his Hyunwoo again!

Hyunwoo leaned back against his locker, which was at the very end of the row of lockers, some ten lockers down Hyungwon’s, and smiled to himself.

He could continue expressing his overwhelming feelings. He was thankful.

*

Hyungwon saw Hyunwoo lesser and lesser as the months went by, due to his swimming practice and the older’s Dance period shifting according to his practice schedule.

It really spoiled Hyungwon’s mood, as he had pretty much fallen for the older completely at this point (though kept telling himself it was just a crush and could not be love ‘cause he barely saw the guy, let alone talked to him), but seeing the cute little notes in his locker on a regular basis gave him some happiness.

It was like a drop of sunlight in pitch black darkness. S’s notes had become something he had started looking forward to receiving regularly.

The notes sometimes came with roses, sometimes with cupcakes or candies. And once even shrimp fritters, which Hyungwon  _ loved _ .

He had no idea how S knew about his love for seafood, especially shrimp but that gesture made him happy.

The notes ranged from little poems to wishes of luck on his class tests to praises on his photoshoots in magazines to small things about Hyungwon that S liked. 

Hyungwon stood by his locker smiling at his note, while twirling the pink rose he had received with it by its stem, which read:

_ Your eyes, like deep oceans’ currents, pull me in _

_ Making me want to drown within _

_ Light reflects off them and makes them shine _

_ How I wish I could call their owner mine... _

_ By the way, the way you run your fingers through your hair really fascinates me. It’s almost as enrapturing as your enchanting smile. _

_ I heard you have a test tomorrow in music production. I wish you all the very best. I just know you’ll do great! _

_ With love, _

_ S. _

  
  


Hyungwon had sighed dreamily and added the note to the tiny box in his bag, which had all the other notes he had received from S. They were quite precious to him for some reason. He never threw away anyone’s love letters or gifts, unless they grossed him out. He kept them somewhere in his room in Minhyuk’s place. 

But the notes of S he kept with himself always. Many times he roamed with the note of the day in his pocket the whole day and read it from time to time. They never failed to bring a smile on his face.

He wanted to meet this S as his curiosity kept increasing with each note he received. 

He especially wanted it to help him forget Hyunwoo, who was just a hopeless crush he should give up on already. But seeing him in Homeroom and Higher Economics and at times in P.E didn’t allow his feelings to dissipate.

So, him attending the swim meets to see the older swim so gracefully, like he was one with the water, did not help at all!

Hyungwon’s crush just seemed to grow as the days passed. S was his only distraction.

A part of him wished and hoped that  _ Hyunwoo was S!  _ But just thinking that would be foolish.

The only little trickles of joy he got was when he looked up and across the room and met the older’s eyes. The older always immediately looked away and Hyungwon always tried his level best to convince himself that Hyunwoo had  _ not  _ been staring at him. But his racing heart wanted to believe so badly that Hyunwoo  _ did  _ stare at him and Hyunwoo  _ was indeed  _ S.. but that was just wishful thinking.. Thinking that way and realising how foolish he was being just upset him further. 

What was worse was Hyunwoo was one of those all-rounder types: excellent at academics, excellent at one form of sports or the other and talented in some other way also, like dancing in case of Hyunwoo. 

Such people were so busy with their lives, with developing themselves to the fullest and so goal-oriented and motivated that they couldn’t care less about people falling for them or asking them out. So Hyungwon was pretty much wasting his time. Yes, he was a model. He was smart and intelligent as well. It was just that he wasn’t particularly interested in studies. And his modelling job didn’t give him ample time to actually study and score well above average. But maybe they were just excuses because here Hyunwoo was, practising day and night for the national swimming competition and doing perfectly fine in academics. And even if he did like Hyungwon by some miracle, the younger doubted the older would be able to provide him enough time out of his busy day. Maybe he would be able to. But Hyungwon was never going to find out.

While all his other admirers had stopped sending him notes this consistently or had stopped completely as their hope to get Hyungwon’s feelings in return died, S kept at it.

S had made it very clear that he was not going to ever reveal himself ever, because ‘Hyungwon, you deserve much better than me. If, someday, I become worthy of you and you’re single and still interested in men, I’ll try to woo you and make you mine. Till then, just this is enough for me.’

Unlike others, S seemed to just want to be able to express his love for Hyungwon and seemed to not want  _ anything  _ from Hyungwon in return, definitely not his feelings.

That implication made Hyungwon smile shyly and feel warmth course through his veins. 

He had never had anyone who’d loved him this much (if he didn’t count his best friend Minhyuk and his own parents. He didn’t.). 

He really wanted to meet this S and he was running out of time. It was the middle of their second and last semester and the second swim meet for the year was fast approaching, so were Hyunwoo’s nationals, which would happen in January, right before their mock exams.

Honestly, Hyungwon didn’t know what to do. He decided he was going to let his crush on Hyunwoo go.

He’d go see him in the swim meet, of course. But that’s it. He’d let go of his feelings for the older after that. It deeply saddened him to come to this decision but it was for the best.  _ It was just a crush after all…  _

He kinda wanted S to keep loving him, though it was very selfish of him. But he had actually started caring for the anonymous guy along the way and wanted him stop loving Hyungwon, if he wasn’t going to act on his feelings actively and personally. But he did want a revelation of his name if nothing else.

But it seemed highly unlikely he’d get to know the guy’s identity. Hyungwon figured it’d be rather pointless because he too, like Hyunwoo, was getting busier and busier with school work and his modelling career.

It’s not like he’d have time for a proper relationship anyway. He was not even properly there for his friends at the moment.. being in a relationship would be impractical.

*

Hyunwoo sighed heavily as he leaned his forehead against the cool metal of Hyungwon’s locker, his fist clenching and unclenching.

“Hyunwoo. Buddy. I think it’s best if you let him go, like we agreed yesterday night. It’s for the best, especially if you aren’t going to act on your feelings for him in a personal and active manner.”

Hoseok rubbed his back through his sleeveless t-shirt slowly in a comforting manner. 

Hyunwoo sighed again. “Seokie. You  _ know  _ I can’t confess. I legit don’t have the time to get rejected and wallow in self-pity. Not now. And if things  _ do  _ go well, it would be pointless to ask him out at this point because neither of us are free due to our finals soon approaching.. you know that.”

“I do. And your nationals are coming soon as well.”

“Exactly. I can’t give myself time, Seok. Definitely can’t give him my active attention and love. That’s one of the reasons I even resorted to notes…” Hyunwoo’s voice shook with unshed tears. They said the first love hurt the most. Guess they had been right. Whoever “they” were.

“Just this time and place is wrong, Nu. Anyway, you’ll probably never see him after this.” Hyunwoo hummed as he turned around and leaned against Hyungwon’s locker.

“I heard Minhyuk telling my Kihyunie,” a shy smile formed on Hoseok’s face and a fond smile formed on Hyunwoo’s face at that, “that Hyungwon is going to take next year off to focus on his modelling career. Then decide later on whether or not he wants to continue with further studies. So.. yeah…”

Hyunwoo hummed again as he reached for Hoseok’s hand and intertwined their fingers. He rubbed his thumb over the younger’s and tilted his head to the side as he regarded his best friend fondly. “Hoseok, I’m so happy for you. I’m glad he said yes. Even though you have to wait till school ends to be together. I’m proud of you for asking him out. And I’m happier that we both got into the same college! Kihyun as well!”

“I know! It’s unbelievable! I’ll have both you  _ and  _ Kihyunie!” Then a mischievous glint appeared in the younger’s eyes. “I’ll have both my main hoe  _ and  _ my sexy and totally gorgeous side hoe.” He winked and Hyunwoo lightly punched his thick, muscular forearm. “Watch it, idiot.” He shook his head fondly, his eyes cast down.

“Well, since Kihyun and I are not together yet.. And you’re going to let go of your feelings for Hyungwon..  _ and  _ we’re ending our ‘arrangement’...”

Hyunwoo looked up with one eyebrow cocked up. Hoseok smiled at him sheepishly and closed the distance between their faces.

The younger’s lips were soft, as always, as they moved against Hyunwoo’s slowly and gently. Hyunwoo closed his eyes and kissed the younger back as he pulled him as close to himself as possible.

They lost themselves for a little while in the gentle play of their lips on each other’s and the other’s body heat. Hyunwoo gently ran his fingers through Hoseok’s thick black hair as the younger deepened the kiss and soon let his tongue enter Hyunwoo’s ready mouth.

As always, it felt  _ right  _ to be with Hoseok but like it lacked something. That lack of something always nagged Hyunwoo at the back of his mind. The main reason why they had never gone beyond friends-with-benefits was because it felt  _ right, so very right!  _ But at the same time felt wrong in some way. Hoseok, Hyunwoo knew, felt it too.

Yet here he was, letting his best friend kiss him with so much love and gentleness, his hand caressing Hyunwoo’s bare forearm. 

He was glad at 5:30am, there was legit nobody in the whole school except a select few of the swim team and the coach. That very reason was what had helped Hyunwoo open Hyungwon’s locker without being caught. That and Hoseok telling a staff member that he had forgotten the passcode to ‘his’ locker. Since he had seen the first three digits to Hyungwon’s locker combination, when Hoseok had started uttering them to the staff, they had quickly looked up the number and told Hoseok the remaining three digits. Hyunwoo always knew he could count on his best friend.

With one last peck on Hyunwoo’s soft, plump lips, Hoseok pulled back completely, their hands falling to their sides.

“That, Son Hyunwoo, was the last kiss we’ll ever share. And last night, as you know, was the last time we’d ever fuck. I love you, babe. I’m going to miss this.”

“You won’t. Kihyun is the one you love. Not me. You know that.”

“True. I  _ do  _ love you, Hyunwoo. Just not really in that sense. We already talked about what we feel. Just a little patience needed on my part…”

“Yeah, Seokie. Wait. Kihyun will be yours soon.”

Hoseok hummed as he ruffled Hyunwoo’s hair affection. “Okay, cutie. I really wish you get somebody in college who’ll give you all the love you deserve.”

“Hmm. Let’s see. Anyway, time to head for practice, Seok.”

“Hell, yeah!”

Hyunwoo gave Hyungwon’s locker one last wistful look and sighed. Hoseok frowned a little and intertwined their fingers as he pulled the older towards the school’s huge gymnasium.

*

Hyungwon didn’t know why but he had this little urge to.. cry.

He read the post-it in his hand one more time as he stood by his locker.

_ Hey Mr.McGorgeous, _

_ This is where I end things. I really truly love you but as you know, we’re at a very important stage of our lives and we need to focus on ourselves now. _

_ I wish you all the very best, my cute pink rose. How I wish I could tell you who I am but it’s pretty pointless now. It’s not going to get us anywhere. _

_ But I can reveal this: my name starts with the letter H and we used to share precisely three periods together. Maybe you’ll know who I am with this info, but mostly you won’t be able to zero in on me.  _

_ But either way, I’ll always love you. Maybe someday we’ll cross paths again and that time I can woo you and make you mine. Maybe. _

_ Just remember that, you’ll  _ always  _ have a very special place in my heart. _

_ With love, _

_ Your H. _

Hyungwon pressed the note to his heart and tried not to cry. He didn’t even know  _ why  _ he felt like crying, considering he didn’t even know who S, or H, was. But something in his heart kept screaming loud and clear that H was Hyunwoo! S.H stood for Son Hyunwoo! He knew it couldn’t be but it felt like his crush had slipped between his fingers while he’d had a chance and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

Minhyuk pulled Hyungwon to his chest and hugged him close. Hyungwon slipped the note into his pocket as he hugged his best friend back just as tightly and close.

“It’s okay, baby. I know what  _ and  _ how you’re feeling. This’ll pass. I understand you, remember?” Minhyuk chuckled humourlessly. 

Minhyuk understood him alright. His crush Jooheon had taken the exams early on and left to join his label. He had even got into an amazing university which specialised both in music and commerce. The boy really was a bigshot prodigy after all. Even Hyunwoo and Hoseok, and even Yoo Kihyun from the school choir, had got into the same university. Minhyuk had applied there as well but was waiting for their response.

God knew why Hyungwon and Minhyuk fell for guys  _ way  _ out of their league.

“Okay, buddy. Time to go home. We need to study hard. You do want to study more later on right? And we have to both make to the same top university as our men, yeah?” Minhyuk chuckled as he pulled away from their hug and Hyungwon nodded as he snorted.

“Yeah. Let’s go. Your dad’s here?”

They started walking towards the exit of their school’s hallway. 

Minhyuk nodded. “Yeah. He  _ just  _ got here.”

“Hmm.”

They didn’t say anything as they walked out the double doors and went down the stairs to the parking lot below.

Then Hyungwon broke the silence.

“I wish I could wish Hyunwoo all the best for his nationals…”

“Hmm. Oooh! You can!”

“Huh?” Hyungwon looked up from the ground to his friend, only to be dragged across the parking lot to where his crush, Hoseok and Kihyun were standing, talking to each other.

Before Hyungwon could react and stop his friend, they’d reached the three boys. They stopped in front of them and Minhyuk subtly pushed Hyungwon ahead, right in front of Hyunwoo.

Hyungwon looked at Hyunwoo with wide eyes as Hyunwoo looked into his eyes with his own eyes just as wide.

They just stood there with their eyes locked before Hoseok loudly cleared his throat, only to get nudged in the ribs by Kihyun. 

“Hi Kihyunie! Hi Seokie hyung and Hyunwoo hyung!”

“Hey Minie!” Kihyun hugged his friend as Hoseok gently squeezed the ash blond’s shoulder with a wide grin on his face. Hyunwoo nodded at Minhyuk with a tiny smile of his face before going back to looking at Hyungwon and his face went back to being unreadable.

Hyungwon gulped before flashing his best smile that he’d heard made people weak in the knees. “Hyunwoo-ssi. I wish you all the very best for the Nationals! I’m sure you’ll do great and make us proud as usual!”

Hyunwoo took his outstretched hand and shook it slowly. “Thank you, Hyungwon-ssi.” Electricity shot through their joined hands and coursed throughout the nerves in Hyungwon’s body. And Hyunwoo’s. Hyungwon let out a noiseless gasp and Hyunwoo’s eyes widened.

Their hands stayed joined as Hyungwon continued, “No pressure though! You’ll do fantastically. You’re our number one swimmer after all. I have seen you swim! You’re amazing!”

God knew how Hyungwon was able to talk normally while he felt warm all over and like electricity was sizzling through his very core. 

He was focused on leaving a good impression on his crush. This would be the last time they’d ever talk after all. Rest, he figured, was Top Model Chae Hyungwon’s doing. He was thankful he had that persona.

Hyunwoo blushed a little as looked away, their hands still joined. “You’re unnecessarily flattering me, Hyungwon-ssi. I’m just a  _ good _ swimmer. That’s it. Nothing compared to a top model like yourself…” He trailed off in a low voice and gave Hyungwon a shy smile.

Hyungwon wanted to burst. “Oh no! You’re our school’s pride! Please don’t stress yourself. We’ll all be proud of you no matter what!”

“Thank you, Hyungwon-ssi. Your words mean a lot to me.” He looked up and flashed Hyungwon his cutest smile and there went Hyungwon’s cool composure.

“Oh. O-okay. G-glad to hear t-that.” He stuttered unattractively and quickly dropped his hand as it started to get sweaty.

“Cute.” Hyunwoo murmured and Hyungwon blushed a deep red.

He stepped back a little and bowed slightly.

“Okay then. I’ll take your leave now, Hyunwoo-ssi.” Then he straightened and smiled uncertainly. “Fighting..”

Hyunwoo chuckled as he nodded. “Yes, fighting. You too. All the best for your exams and your modelling career. I hope you keep shining.”

“You too! All the best for your exams!” They both grinned at each other, neither of them wanting to leave as they stared into each other’s eyes with shy smiles plastered on their faces.

“Oh my God. How long are you gonna flirt?! Get together or something already!” Kihyun groaned and both Hyungwon and Hyunwoo turned to glare at the shorter male, who just shrugged innocently.

Hoseok and Minhyuk bent over laughing and their best friends rolled their eyes and looked away with sheepish smiles.

  
  


And that would be the last time Hyungwon and Hyunwoo crossed paths with each other.

  
  
  


Or so they thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did read through this once and corrected mistakes but if I left any out, I’ll correct them later

_ One year later... _

“Hyunwoo, I’m done packing and moving most of my things to Kihyun’s room. Just a few more things, like clothes and my PC, need to be moved today. Then I’ll be done moving out.”

“Oh okay. I’ll help you?”

“Yes, please. Both you and Kihyun together will make the task get over faster.”

“Yeah.” Hyunwoo nodded. 

It was the first day of their second year in university and they were walking to their Homeroom class that they would share with first years.

They turned a corner and reached the classroom that was going to be their Homeroom and Hoseok opened the transparent door and walked in, Hyunwoo following close behind.

Hyunwoo’s eyes scanned the room to find good seats for Hoseok and himself.

And his eyes landed on the one person he  _ did not  _ expect here, the person from whom moving on had taken the whole of his first year. He stood frozen, his eyes widened in shock.

“Nunu, move. I found us seats.”

Hyunwoo averted his gaze and shook his head in a daze and moved with Hoseok to the end of class. Thankfully that person hadn’t looked up to see who had entered the class. He was glad. He could pretend he hadn’t even seen-

“Son. Hyunwoo. Is that Chae Hyungwon?!”

Great.. there went his plan. Thank you, Lee Hoseok..

Hoseok stood frozen and Hyunwoo pushed him a little to get him moving.

“No. It isn’t. We’re dreaming. Now walk.”

Hoseok’s gaze remained fixed on Hyungwon as they finally reached their seats and sat down.

“Hyunwoo. Boy. That’s  _ Chae Hyungwon! _ ” Hoseok hissed, his hand gripping Hyunwoo’s wrist tightly.

“Hoseok. Please. Stop looking at him.”

But the blond kept staring at Hyungwon who was talking to someone familiar.

_ Is that Lee Minhyuk?! Right! He had joined last year as well! Just that we didn’t have any classes together.. shit! He is facing us! _

“Hoseok!” Hyunwoo turned the younger’s face around to face his own, with the help of his fingers on the younger’s chin. 

“Stop staring! They’ll notice!” Hoseok looked like he wanted to say something but Hyunwoo continued, “And I  _ don’t want that!” _

“Why not?” The blond pouted and Hyunwoo dropped his hand.

“Because I don’t want a repeat of my stupid crush on an unattainable model! It’s gonna be one sided again and that’s gonna suck! So stop. If they look at us, we’d have to go say hi….”

While talking he’d made the mistake of glancing at the very two guys he wanted to avoid.

And ended up locking eyes with Lee Minhyuk.

_ Shit… _

“Hyunwoo hyung! Hoseok hyung!” Minhyuk shrieked and waved his hand enthusiastically.

Hyunwoo willed himself to not facepalm and forced a smile onto his face as Hoseok turned around and waved at the waving redhead, grinning widely.

All this caused Hyungwon to notice the two older males and Hyunwoo just wanted the ground to swallow him up.

He tried to smile a small smile but he was sure it looked more like a grimace. But it didn’t matter because Hyungwon looked like he had seen a ghost.

_ Well..  _

They immediately looked away from each other just as Minhyuk stood up and grabbed Hyungwon’s hand. Hyunwoo slightly turned his head to see Hyungwon silently protesting but Minhyuk pulled him up without much resistance and they started walking towards Hyunwoo and Hoseok with their books in their hands.

Minhyuk rushed over with evident joy and excitement on his face and Hyunwoo looked over at Hyungwon who looked like he wanted to be  _ anywhere  _ but here.  _ Same Hyungwon-ah, same. Though I should probably be offended by that… _

Minhyuk plopped on the only empty chair next to Hoseok, who immediately hugged him tightly, leaving only the seat next to Hyunwoo available for Hyungwon to sit.

Hyungwon took a deep breath and then blushed when he saw Hyunwoo looking at him and made his way over, the blush still intact, and placed his books on the desk, before rounding the seat and sitting down.

“Hi.” Hyungwon said shyly and Hyunwoo said Hi back just as shyly.

Silence went on for a minute or two. In between them, anyway. Minhyuk and Hoseok were chatting and chatting like they were old buddies. They were but they hadn’t been close. But knowing their personalities, Hyunwoo wasn’t surprised. Seeing from Hyungwon’s expression, the pink haired male wasn’t surprised either. 

“So, uh, how is modelling…?” Hyunwoo attempted to make conversation. This  _ was  _ his ex-crush after all (It wasn’t going to remain ‘ex’ but Hyunwoo did  _ not  _ want to think about that…).

Hyungwon looked like he hadn’t expected Hyunwoo to say anything so he didn’t answer for some seconds, staring at the older blankly before shaking himself. “I, uh, kinda left it. Not  _ really _ left it but I won’t do as many shoots as before, now. Just the occasional gig. I want a degree first.” The pink haired male gave Hyunwoo a sheepish grin, and that made the brunet’s heart race.

He subconsciously scanned Hyungwon’s face. He somehow became even more handsome over the one year they hadn’t seen each other and Hyunwoo wanted to cry. Cry at his failed attempt of getting over the younger.

Destiny was cruel.  _ Extremely  _ cruel to bring this angel back into his life.

Hyunwoo was gonna go back to home and bang his head at his plight.

_ Chae Hyungwon, I hate you for affecting me this much. _

Hyungwon blushed under Hyunwoo’s scrutiny of his face and ducked his head down. Hyunwoo immediately looked away and disappointment coursed through the younger in sharp waves.

The past year he’d completely immersed himself into modelling and preparing for admission into this college.

He had tried to get over Hyunwoo but it had been more or less fruitless. Then Minhyuk told him that from what he knew Hyunwoo was single and in the same university as them, along with Jooheon, Kihyun, Changkyun and Hoseok. And that Hyungwon better get his “fucking ass here” this year somehow.

Thankfully, getting in hadn’t been a big deal because of his successful model career. He couldn’t obviously drop the one thing he excelled at but he kept the gigs to the minimum now, to be able to focus on college and getting a damn degree. And hopefully a more stable job or something. He didn’t know yet but it didn’t matter.

This year he had decided, especially while looking at Hyunwoo’s gorgeous face, that his main goal would be to woo the older and  _ somehow  _ get together with him. If he was single and into men, that is. Which Minhyuk assured him he was, from what he’d heard from Hyunwoo’s best friend Hoseok.

So, Hyungwon summoned model Chae Hyungwon’s charm to take over.

“So, how have you been, Hyunwoo hyung? How is swimming?” He leaned in a little closer and then cheered internally when Hyunwoo didn’t lean away.

“Swimming’s been good, Hyungwon-ah. You tell me, how has life been? And what subjects have you taken this year?” The older at first had his eyes cast down, cheeks showing a hint of pink, making Hyungwon cheer inside again, before looking the younger right in the eyes as he voiced his questions. To say Hyungwon had gone speechless was, well, the truth. 

“I-uh-I-I have t-taken-“ Hyungwon started stuttering unattractively and was extremely thankful when the Homeroom teacher came in.

_ Thank God… but he probably already thinks I’m a total idiot. Play it cool, Wonnie… Model Chae, please come back… _

And for the rest of the class (basic orientation, roll call, schedule allotment and discussion, events of the year etc) Hyungwon and Hyunwoo didn’t dare look at each other in the eye.

In fact, Hyunwoo just wanted to bolt from there because every move he made had him feeling self-conscious. It was stupid ‘cause Hyungwon couldn’t care any lesser about him. But he felt like he was being observed, hence the self-consciousness. But it was probably his mind playing games with him. Why would Chae Hyungwon stare at him.. please..

Hyungwon couldn’t take his eyes off of Hyunwoo and but tried his best to not look at the older, at the same time. He probably looked like a druggie having a withdrawal with how fidgety he was getting.

He could see the older on the edge, struggling inside, back rigid and Hyungwon figured it was because of his presence or staring.

_ Fuck you, zagiya… why did you have to put me through this… Oh wait! Right… because I’d wanted to ‘woo’ the older. Doesn’t look like it’s gonna happen… Okay, Chae! Just stop looking at him! You can do it! _

He quickly averted his gaze and kept it fixed ahead and saw Hyunwoo visibly relax through his peripheral, making Hyungwon’s mood dampen.  _ Huh.. so it  _ was  _ me… _

_ Can he really not stand my presence? He looks like he wants to bolt… That’s kinda how I feel as well but my reasons are something else altogether… _

_ I don’t know what to do anymore… _

Hyungwon visibly sulked throughout Homeroom and then AP English, which he again had with Hyunwoo and Minhyuk, Kihyun taking Hoseok’s place. So, he couldn’t even get up and move ‘cause that might be rude.

_ Fuck you, Lee Minhyuk… whose fucking brilliant plan was it to try to get closer to the one guy who looks like he can’t stand my presence… _

_ Screwed… _

*

They’d been roommates for roughly a month, since a little before college had started, when with some stroke of luck, Minhyuk had got himself assigned to Jooheon as roommate, leaving Hyungwon currently without anyone. Jooheon had had no roommate and had been in search for one as he didn’t want to be alone. 

So, Minhyuk, ever the knight in shining armour, had immediately offered his services and headed down to the main office to get himself shifted to Jooheon’s room.

Minhyuk was  _ thrilled _ and Hyungwon was.. happy for his friend. He really was.

But at the same time he wanted someone as his roommate, now that his best friend had abandoned him for his highschool crush.

He’d asked Kihyun to let him know if he found someone without a roommate and for some reason the older had given him a knowing smirk and nodded before walking off.

_ The fuck… _

He sighed as he walked to his locker to keep his books and head for lunch.

Classes had started about two weeks ago and had been.. stressful. Because he’d been on the edge throughout his morning classes as somehow he shared each and every one with Hyunwoo.

He was a first year because he’d dropped out for a year so this was just… fate, if he could say that.

He had Homeroom, Dance, Music Production  _ and _ AP English with the older. 

Now AP English he’d got into with the second years because he’d taken a few tests of the first year English course and had easily scored near perfect scores in all of them, meaning his English level was well above everyone else’s in his year, thanks to him actually being able to speak well enough to have basic conversations without any difficulty, or more if he tried his level best.

So, yeah. He’d been placed in AP English.

The other three, first years and second years had them together. And had Hoseok, Minhyuk, Jooheon  _ and  _ Kihyun in all three. Apart from Hoseok, the others were there with them in AP English as well! But they always made Hyungwon sit next to Hyunwoo.

Those assholes  _ always  _ left him to fend for himself, all alone with Hyunwoo, who looked like he was in pain.

He kind of reminded Hyungwon of Edward in that scene where Bella sat next to him for the first time and how Jasper looked 24/7, thanks to being a very gifted Empath.

But the similarity wasn’t amusing as he looked tortured all thanks to Hyungwon’s presence and attempts at conversation.

Obviously, the older’s reaction largely demotivated him to ever try to take it further. If someone looked like they wanted to bolt everytime you came up to them to talk, or when your stupid friends left you both alone on purpose, they’d  _ obviously  _ reject you if you  _ ever _ asked them out.

Hyungwon sighed loudly as he pulled open his locker door and placed his books on the top shelf. 

He almost missed the piece of paper which fluttered down to the ground as he shut the locker and turned on his heel to head to the cafeteria.

And yes, first and second years shared lunch hour, like third and fourth years did.

A flash of pink on the ground caught his attention and he bent down to pick up the piece of paper, a post-it.

It had fallen face down and when he flipped it over, the words he read made his heart pound its way to his throat, the red muscle wanting to jump out of his mouth apparently.

_ Hey, Mr.McGorgeous, _

_ Did you miss me? ;) _

_ I must say, you’re looking even more ethereal since the last time I saw you, back in high school.  _

_ It’s been fifteen days since classes started and I still find it unbelievable every morning that you’re here, looking more gorgeous than ever, just within my reach. _

_ Maybe this time around, I’ll actually try to woo you? Maybe once my self-confidence returns. But I still doubt someone as angelic as you would be willing to date some plebeian like me. _

_ Anyway, that’s a concern for the future. _

_ For now, see you at lunch, sweetheart! _

_ With love, _

_ Your S _

  
  


Oh hell… 

*

Hyungwon walked in a daze into the cafeteria, the pink post-it still clutched in his hand.

He caught sight of Minhyuk standing in the line with an empty food tray, laughing at something Jooheon had said. Hyungwon picked up his own tray and went to stand behind his best friend, who thankfully had no one behind him in line.

“Minie.” 

Minhyuk turned around and squealed, “Wonnie! My zagi! I have missed you, baby!”

Hyungwon just nodded, his usual eye roll or amused smile nowhere to be seen as he whispered in an urgent voice. “I need to tell you something.”

Minhyuk’s eyes widened at his friend’s behaviour and serious expression and nodded immediately.

Jooheon got busy texting on his phone after handing Minhyuk his empty tray and Minhyuk turned around to face him fully.

“What’s up? Is everything okay?”

Hyungwon wordlessly thrust the pink post-it into Minhyuk’s hand, which wasn’t busy holding the trays, and Minhyuk’s eyes widened to an impossible extent, like his eyeballs would pop out anytime soon.

_ “Is this.. from.. S?!” _

Hyungwon nodded, heart racing.

“Oh my God…” His best friend breathed out as he scanned the paper.

Just then Jooheon patted Minhyuk’s shoulder and the older handed him his tray as it was his turn in line. All three of them moved forward and Minhyuk slipped the note into Hyungwon’s shirt pocket before they started piling whatever they wanted from the buffet. 

“Minhyuk, how many people are there from our school in this university?” Hyungwon asked while placing a hamburger on the plate on his tray.

“I’m not sure, Wonnie. Apart from the six of us, I have no idea whatsoever… oh, and Changkyun.” Minhyuk picked up two juice packets and handed one to Hyungwon.

“Great.. but S did say his name started with the letter H. First name, I believe. So, that’s a start right…” 

“But Hyungwon. I know I can’t ask you why you want to find him because I’d would want to, too. But weren’t you gonna focus on wooing Hyunwoo hyung? Don’t you love him…? Why does this S matter?!”

“That’s true. But I just want to know who he is, Minhyuk! I have never had anyone.. uh..showering me with love for so long…”

“I showered you with love as well, Wonnie. Back when we dated. I still do..” Minhyuk said with a frown as he looked at his tray then at the buffet to see if he had taken everything he wanted and they started walking to their table to where Jooheon was already headed.

“I know, Minie. But… Sorry. You did. But.. I want to find him! Don’t you get it?”  _ Huh.. why is Minhyuk against this…? _

“Yeah. Okay. But Wonnie, why don’t you let the guy himself come and confess to you? Like the reason he writes to you is because he can’t tell you to your face. When he is ready, he will. You’re only in your first year. Rest of us in second. We have time. He’ll come around, I’m sure.”

“But Minhyuk, I have been thinking about it… He said his name starts with H. But he signs as S. Why? SH are probably his initials, right?”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Anyway, we’ll talk about this later.” Minhyuk gestured with his head at the other four at the table as they neared it and Hyungwon frowned but let it go.

As always, their friends made him sit next to Hyunwoo. 

Honestly, he wanted to die than to sit next to the older and make a fool out of himself. Especially because of how flustered Hyunwoo always looked when he sat down next to him…

He tried to catch Minhyuk’s eye and let him know this subtly but the older just had eyes for his Jooheon who was talking about his latest project in his label. He’d decided to collab with Changkyun, another guy who’d enrolled into the music department of their college…

_ It can’t be Changkyun, can it?! But why would S lie about the first letter of his name?! Changkyun’s full name is Im Changkyun… No H or S for initials, if what I’m thinking is right… _

“Hyungwon!” Hyungwon jerked his head up as he got interrupted from his thoughts and looked at Kihyun who had called him.

“Yeah?”

“You’d asked for a roommate, right? Are you cool about moving out?”

Hyungwon noticed Hyunwoo go completely rigid next to him.  _ Huh.. _

“Yeah, I’m fine with anything. Did you find someone?”

“You could say that.” Kihyun smirked at Hyungwon and then Hoseok and Kihyun grinned at each other.

“Hyungwon-ah.”

“Yeah, Hyunwoo hyung?” He turned his head to face the older.

“Hoseok is moving out. So, if you don’t mind shifting rooms, you could become my roommate. I have no issues. You can think about it, if you’d like.”

_ Oh my God! Aaaaaah!!! _ Hyungwon was legit screaming inside his head as Hyunwoo broke eye contact and cast his eyes down, a little blush dusting his cute cheeks.  _ So adorable! Wonnie, forget S! Say something, goddamn it! _

“I mean it’s up to you. No pressure…” Hyunwoo trailed off in a small voice when Hyungwon did nothing but stare at Hyunwoo.

Then he felt a sharp pain go up his shin, making him wince, and he looked ahead to see Minhyuk scowl at him deeply while subtly gesturing at Hyunwoo with his eyes.

_ Ah yes! Talk! Say yes! _

“Oh no! I’d  _ love to  _ be roommates! We can even become better friends then! It’s a yes from me!”

Hyungwon flashed his best smile and he saw Hyunwoo melt a little.  _ Good _ .

“Great. You can start moving in. Hoseok has done moving out. I can help you move in.”

Hyunwoo gave him a tight-lipped smile and Hyungwon died inside a little from how goddamn cute it was! He just wanted to pull the older closer and pinch his chubby cheeks while cooing at him! 

Maybe someday, he’d get to do it!

_ Hyunwoo, I’m making you fall for me! Hell yes! I’ll get to spend all my free time with you now! _

“Hyung, that would be great. I’ll start packing my things today after classes get over.”

“Cool. Call me if you need help. You should head to the office to let them know you’re moving into my room.”

_ I’m moving in with Hyunwoo… wow.. _

“Yes! I will!” Hyungwon and Hyunwoo smiled at each other shyly and the others smirked while eating their food.

*

“Minie! I can’t believe I’m going to move in with Hyunwoo hyung! Okay, oh my God, I feel like gonna pass out…” Hyungwon plopped down on the edge of his bed, hands carding over and over through his hair.

Minhyuk had come over to help Hyungwon pack his things and they’d packed quite a lot before panic seized Hyungwon’s heart again.

“Hey, zagiya. It’ll be fine! Don’t back out now…”

Minhyuk kneeled in between Hyungwon’s legs and he cupped his face in his palms.

“I’m scared I’ll do something stupid in front of him, Minie…. he’ll think I’m an idiot…”

“Hey! You forget you’re  _ the Chae Hyungwon.  _ And  _ everybody _ loves you! Hyunwoo  _ cannot  _ be immune to your charms, trust me!”

“Minie, he  _ is  _ into guys, right?” He looked in Minhyuk’s eyes and his best friend nodded vigorously.

“Yes! Both Kihyun and Hoseok have confirmed it! I asked some five times now, for confirmation for you!”

“They know I’m in love with him?!” Hyungwon’s jaw dropped.  _ Oh shit… _

“Yeah. But they won’t tell Hyunwoo. Don’t worry. If you want, ask them yourself. For your satisfaction.”

“Okay.. I will.. you sure they won’t say anything?”

“They won’t. They have promised.” 

“Okay.” Hyungwon nodded and then felt a tiny kiss placed on his forehead, making him smile.

“I love you, Minie.”

“I love you, too, my Wonnie baby! So much! I’m here for you, come here!” Minhyuk opened his arms wide and Hyungwon leaned into his best friend who hugged him tightly.

“Don’t panic. Okay? I’m  _ sure  _ you can make Hyunwoo fall for you! Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You know  _ how many guys and girls  _ have asked me about you in school? People have always been crazy about you, don’t worry.”

“I don’t want people. I want him…” Hyungwon sighed and put his face in his palms.

“And you’ll get him! I promise!”

Minhyuk was awfully optimistic, alright. 

What Hyungwon did not know was Minhyuk had good reason to make such a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos make me happy and motivate me to continue writing  
> So, if you like what I have written, please do leave some ><
> 
> Until next time,  
> Please keep loving Showhyung 🐻🐢❤️


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I finished it! I read through this once and corrected whatever mistakes I found. Please ignore any other typos or errors you find. I’ll correct them later on when I’ll read this again.

After receiving S’s message and Hyunwoo asking him to move in with him, the older had started warming up to him and his advances and Hyungwon couldn’t get any happier.

S had started leaving tiny poems for him once again and Hyungwon felt like he was floating somewhere. He still wanted to know who S was but every time he saw Hyunwoo he forgot all about that anonymous guy.

Hyunwoo wasn’t blind and he _knew_ he wasn’t deluding himself. This was real. Hyungwon _was_ putting in efforts to become closer to him.

He often bought Hyunwoo coffee in the morning before Homeroom; he’d come to Hyunwoo’s class at the end of the day to walk back together to their dorm. He would try his level best to involve Hyunwoo in some conversation or the other and Hyunwoo was really surprised that the model and he shared a lot of common interests! And had many similarities! Hyunwoo was _thrilled,_ to say the least!

They both liked the same kind of music, they both loved black, they both were O+ve (though that’s the most common blood group), they loved the same kind of food, though Hyunwoo got appalled whenever Hyungwon didn’t follow the same combinations he did while eating (like why even eat rice noodles if you don’t add coriander to it?! It was an insult to the rice noodles!) but such things made just made Hyungwon more endearing to him.

Hyungwon was just a lazy turtle who loved draping himself around Hyunwoo, like a vine, in the morning after waking up. It made Hyunwoo’s heart rate accelerate unhealthily and he just wanted to lean back and melt against the younger, which he did at times and Hyungwon would just smile and wrap himself around Hyunwoo even more.

Hyungwon, it seemed, touched him often. He slung his arm around the older’s shoulders and squeezed his biceps. He occasionally softly poked his cheeks and then giggled cutely. He’d even ruffle his hair at the end of the day.

Hyunwoo just blushed and looked away most of the time and sometimes, when he felt brave, he returned the gestures, the touches.

The sparks he felt every time they touched made his heart soar and his love for the model increase.

Hyungwon often praised Hyunwoo about his body, his looks, his dance, everything. It made Hyunwoo’s confidence build back up and increased his urge to go confess _already!_

A week after Hyunwoo asked him, Hyungwon had moved in completely, with help from all their friends and they’d settled in together nicely.

They were still blushing messes at times but they’d definitely grown closer.

Hyungwon often dragged him out to parties or nearby parks, where they just strolled under the moonlight, talking about anything and everything.

Hyunwoo even helped Hyungwon with his assignments and projects as he’d had nearly all the same subjects as the younger the previous year.

But he remained extremely careful about _never_ letting the younger see his written college notes. Having an apartment-type dorm helped, where they had a mini kitchen plus eating area plus hall with a tiny couch for two, and then an individual room for both of them. Perks of being in the best college in the country.

Hyunwoo had lied that his written notes were lying somewhere in his room at home and not here in their dorm room, sadly. And Hyungwon obviously believed him. He had no reason not to.

But because of all the time they spent together, Hyunwoo’s feelings had got extremely overwhelming and painful that he’d started writing longer and more notes, and at times dropped them into Hyungwon’s locker more than once a day.

He was thankful that he knew Hyungwon’s schedule as well as his own, and so, hadn’t been caught while dropping off his notes into younger’s locker. Yet.

It was a matter of time before the younger found out who S was… and he dreaded the arrival of that day more than anything else ever.

He was glad that none of his friends had told Hyungwon that Hyunwoo was in love with him. And he was especially thankful to Hoseok and Kihyun for not letting any of his other friends, especially Hyungwon, know that he was S and left notes in Hyungwon’s locker since high school.

If he ever wanted Hyungwon to know that he loved him, he would prefer that Hyungwon found out on his own or through Hyunwoo. No other way.

They had a nice thing going on which he didn’t want to ruin, though it really hurt Hyunwoo because the proximity made him want _so much more._

At times, he cried himself to sleep. Or just crashed at any of their friends’ place on the couch. Or Changkyun’s room, a double but with no roommate. He’d message Hyungwon about being busy with work. Which wasn’t a lie because he took his projects and assignments and study materials to the place he’d crash for the night.

Rooming with Hyungwon was the best thing ever but at the same time, it was his worst nightmare.

The night before, they’d been watching some movie on Hyunwoo’s laptop, sitting on their tiny couch, the laptop atop the small centre table they had.

Hyungwon liked clinging to Hyunwoo. He often hugged the older and buried his face into the crook of his neck and it just made the older want to cry in joy _and_ groan in frustration.

How he wanted to just pull back and kiss Hyungwon sweetly on his plump, puffy lips to his heart’s content. But he couldn’t and that hurt _so much_.

So, while they had been watching the movie, Hyungwon curled up like a kitten against Hyunwoo’s side, eventually falling asleep. It had been the cutest thing he had ever seen! Hyungwon had looked exactly like a cute baby and he just wanted to leave kisses all over the younger’s face but.. he couldn’t.

He’d turned off his laptop, stopping the movie in between. He had sat there observing the cute turtle sleeping with his face half-buried in Hyunwoo’s stomach, his knees pulled to his chest, due to his height of six feet and the couch being too small.

Hyunwoo had sighed loudly, then gently lifted the model in his arms, the action not waking up Hyungwon because he slept like a log, and placed him gently on his bed. He had kissed the younger’s forehead before heading to his own room and writing notes after notes after notes.

Eventually, he’d dragged himself to bed and fallen asleep.

He wanted, more than anything else, to stare into Hyungwon’s sparkling dark brown eyes and then pull him close to kiss his plush lips.

Kiss him till he melted in Hyunwoo’s arms, till he moaned, till he desperately pulled Hyunwoo closer and closer for more.

But that was never going to happen… For Hyungwon just saw him as a good friend.

Hyunwoo hated himself for being such a masochist….

*

Hyungwon could see that S was getting desperate in his notes. He noticed how the guy wanted to write about doing things to him (soft things though, nothing dirty) but how he controlled himself. The frequency of the notes had increased as well.

Before he used to get about four in a week. Now he got two or more in a single day.

The notes had got longer as well. Until one day it.. stopped. For a whole week he got nothing.

The same week his Hyunwoo hyung had been away from their room.

Crashed wherever, ‘doing his assignments’, AKA avoiding Hyungwon. He didn’t understand why the older had to go wherever to complete his work when they had a perfectly nice room to work in! But Hyunwoo said they were group projects that they needed to submit asap. So, Hyungwon had stopped texting and calling Hyunwoo about his whereabouts.

But the timing was too suspicious. Before that week, the notes had become erratic, arriving some days back to back and then not being dropped for days together. Then it just stopped the week when his hyung stopped coming back to their room completely.

So, the whole week he’d sat and analysed who S could be.

His first suspect was Hyunwoo. But he’d pushed the older to the back of the list at first.

He’d started with Minhyuk. But Minhyuk was so smitten with Jooheon! And just when Hyungwon had decided to check whether or not Minhyuk could be S, his best friend had come up to him for a pep talk to finally go ask his roommate and crush, Jooheon, out! Which Hyungwon had given him, that’s what friends were for.

Minhyuk had hugged him tightly and kissed him on the cheek, telling Hyungwon he loved him so very much, before running back to his room to confess to Jooheon.

Within half an hour, he’d received an excited call from the older saying that Jooheon and he were together now! As a couple! And they were going on their first date the day after!

So, yeah. It wasn’t Minhyuk. Plus why would Minie leave him notes. He could’ve just asked Hyungwon out again and he would’ve given their relationship another chance, just to make Minhyuk happy. His best friend’s happiness mattered to him the most after all.

Next day he’d figured he’d find if it was either Hoseok or Kihyun, only to find out they were dating. That the reason Hoseok even moved out was because he had moved in with his love since high school, now boyfriend, Yoo Kihyun!

So, yeah. They were off the list as well.

Only Changkyun and Hyunwoo remained.

In the months they’d been in college, they had all found out that apart from the seven of them, nobody else from their school had made it into this college. At least no one who would’ve known Hyungwon in high school because he’d been there _only_ for his senior year.

So, he cornered Kihyun after their AP English, after which Hyunwoo had immediately disappeared, saying he’d have lunch with his group project mates because they all had the next hour free to work.

“Yo, Wonnie. Whaddup? Your Hyunwoo hyung keeps running away from you these days, I see.” Kihyun gave him a sympathetic smile and Hyungwon sighed.

“Yeah. Nevermind that. Is Changkyun single?”

Kihyun looked like he had choked on something . He would’ve have if he had been eating.

“You like _Changkyun?!_ I get that he is a first year and he was with us in our high school classes due to AP English, but you _fancy_ _him?!_ What about Hyunwoo?!”

“I don’t _fancy_ him. I like Hyunwoo hyung. But you didn’t answer my question.”

Kihyun furrowed his eyebrows. And leaned against his locker. (They were standing near the older’s locker.) “No. He isn’t single. In fact, he _just_ started dating this dude called Jackson Wang from the music department. Some classmate of Jooheon’s. Funny, ‘cause Jooheon is the one who set them up…”

“Huh.. how is that funny?” Hyungwon had no idea about any of their pasts. Not really.

“You don’t know?” Kihyun’s eyes widened comically and Hyungwon shook his head no.

“Jooheon is Changkyun’s ex! They used to date in high school before he left early to join his label. Then he fell for Minhyuk who is evidently crazy for him.” Kihyun shrugged.

“Wow. Now this is information.”

“It is. But I’m shocked you didn’t know this. Isn’t Minhyuk your best friend. And Jooheon is your friend as well, right? A good friend, in fact.”

“Yes. They are. But I never asked Jooheon anything. And Minhyuk didn’t tell me anything either. He is rather busy. You second years have some assignments and group projects going on right now, yes?”

“Yes. That’s why your Hyunwoo hyung keeps leaving you. He isn’t avoiding you, in case you were wondering. He is even Hoseok and my group mate in two of the projects assigned to us’”

Hyungwon let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you. That made me feel better.”

Just then Hoseok came and hugged Kihyun from behind. “Hi, baby.” He kissed his boyfriend on the cheek and Kihyun visibly jumped and Hyungwon hid a smile while Hoseok full on laughed, earning a smack on the arm from Kihyun.

“Don’t do that, you muscle head!”

“Sorry. Not sorry.” Hoseok kissed his cheek again and Kihyun shut up, blushing furiously.

Hyungwon would be lying if he said the sight didn’t make him at least a little bit jealous.

Now, that even Changkyun was struck off the list, only Hyunwoo remained.

The thought made Hyungwon’s heart beat wildly and he felt his pulse throughout his body. His eyes widened. _Oh shit.. S is.. Hyunwoo?! All along?! Son Hyunwoo. S.H._

“Kihyunnie, where is our man Shownu? We gotta finish our project today…”

“He texted me that he is with his other group right now, finalising things. That he’ll come to our room afterwards.”

“Okay… just tell him we can finish it tomorrow. We’ll do our parts first.”

“Yeah. The submission is day after anyway. I’ll let him know.”

Something struck Hyungwon and he came out of his thoughts, his heart still beating wildly, faster than before.

“You call Hyunwoo hyung Shownu…?” He asked slowly.

Hoseok blinked at him. “Yes! You didn’t know?! Hyunwoo wants to make a dance crew after college.” Hyungwon nodded, Hyunwoo _had_ told him that.

“That’s his dance crew name! Mine is Wonho! He said he’d ask you to join as well ‘cause he said you’re an excellent dancer.” Hoseok winked and Hyungwon blushed.

“He never told me his crew name.. Just yours and that mine could be Wonwon… or Chae…”

“Oh. Makes sense why he didn’t say it though…” Kihyun exchanged glances with Hoseok and something else clicked in Hyungwon’s mind.

_S for Shownu. H for Hyunwoo. S.H for Son Hyunwoo. They shared precisely three classes in high school…_

Hyungwon’s eyes widened and Kihyun and Hoseok shared another glance, knowing that Hyungwon finally figured it all out.

“Hoseok hyung. Is Hyunwoo hyung…” Hoseok raised an eyebrow. “Single? And interested in men?”

Hoseok positively beamed and patted Hyungwon’s back encouragingly. “You bet he is! Definitely single, definitely bisexual!”

Hyungwon’s eyes sparkled as he pulled Kihyun and Hoseok into a quick hug and legit ran down the hallway and across the lawn to the boys’ dorm.

*

As Hyunwoo’s feelings got too much for him, he crashed at Changkyun’s more and more often.

He couldn’t bear the image of model Chae Hyungwon coming back to their room with full makeup on, after his shoots. Or Hyungwon looking adorable and sleep rumpled in the morning when he walked out to have breakfast before class or when Hyunwoo had to wake him up to go to small cafe in their campus before homeroom.

Everytime the door opened to _that,_ Hyunwoo just wanted to rush forward and gather Hyungwon in his arms and kiss him till his lips became melted water and run his fingers through that thick and soft hair, which was now back to dark brown while Hyunwoo had gone auburn.

And honestly, Hyunwoo didn’t know how much longer he could take it, how much longer he could control himself and just stay stuck between friends and more-than-friends. Rooming with Hyungwon was very dangerous.

He’d stayed away from Hyungwon for a week now, giving some excuse or the other for not being around and Changkyun just frowned at him whenever he lied to Hyungwon on the phone. He’d even stopped writing and leaving notes, trying his best to completely remove Hyungwon from his mind.

Not that it worked.

But now Hyunwoo returned to their room. His behaviour was probably getting suspicious and honestly, he really didn’t like staying away from his angel.

He missed him so much, their hours in class not sufficing. Not after being so near and physically close to Hyungwon for the rest of the day, everyday. He mainly hung out with Hyungwon whenever he had free time, as well, and now it felt really weird and incomplete without him.

Hyunwoo was busy completing his assignment which had a deadline of midnight. He had been on it since he’d been assigned it via email, his eyes glued to the screen as his hands flew over the keyboard of his laptop.

So, he almost didn’t notice Hyungwon’s arrival as he even had his door shut. He was nearly done anyway, so being unavailable for a little while wouldn’t hurt anyone. Hyungwon would understand.

Hyungwon rushed into their dorm room and shut the door behind him. He saw Hyunwoo’s door shut and immediately understood the older probably had an assignment to complete.

And didn’t want to be disturbed. _But sorry, Hyunwoo hyung, I have to disturb you._ And now was the best time because Hyunwoo would be distracted with his work.

He knocked on the older’s door and heard a faint ‘come in’.

He opened the door and walked in to see Hyunwoo’s attention completely glued to his laptop screen, his fingers typing away.

“Hyung, I need your notes of last year. I have some work I need to complete and my notes are incomplete…” He had his fingers crossed, praying Hyunwoo would say yes.

After a moment, a distracted “Take it from my cupboard” came.And Hyungwon positivity wanted to jump up and down.

He murmured a thanks and opened the cupboard where Hyunwoo kept his college stuff, the cupboard next to the one which belonged to his clothes.

And there, on the top shelf sat all his notebooks and _written_ notes! Hyunwoo had lied! Which only fed his suspicion that Hyunwoo was S.

Hyungwon randomly picked up three notebooks and left the room, shutting the door behind him quietly. Hyunwoo hadn’t even spared him a glance.

Hyungwon went to his room and shut the door.

He bent in front of his bedside table, after placing Hyunwoo’s notebooks on his bed, and pulled open the drawer which contained the wooden box which had all of S’s notes in it.

He cradled the box in his hands like it was a baby and sat down on his bed.

With trembling fingers he opened the little latch on it and placed the box on the bed next to the notebooks.

He took a deep breath and then opened the lid of the box and one of the notebooks to a random page, simultaneously.

He upturned the contents of the box and pushed it away, picking up some of he notes that lay on his bed.

With a shaking hand he picked up the opened notebook and placed it on his lap to compare the handwriting.

He scanned the page he had opened and the writing was quite messy, unlike the handwriting on the notes, which was neat and tidy.

Though the handwritings looked similar to an extent, Hyungwon wanted to be absolutely certain.

Generally, the first few pages of anybody’s notebook had text written neatly on it.

Even the first page of notebooks of people who had the messiest of handwritings, as far as Hyungwon had seen through the years.

He hoped the same applied to Hyunwoo.

He laid some of the notes neatly on the bed, above the surface of one of Hyunwoo’s notebooks and held his breath as he slowly flipped the pages of the notebook lying on his lap.

As he hoped, the handwriting became neater and neater as the pages came close to the front cover of the notebook.

And they became more and more similar to the handwriting on the post-its and letters he had received from S.

Before flipping onto the very first page, the one which undoubtedly had the neatest handwriting, Hyungwon picked up another notebook and slowly flipped through its pages as well, starting from the last page and going forward, messy handwriting to neater ones.

He had just the first page left now and his heart thudded loudly.

This was it. _I’ll get the ultimate confirmation if I flip one single page. I’m extremely close._

Hyungwon held the first sheet of both notebooks lying on his lap and closed his eyes.

He flipped the pages.

_Please._

He opened and eyes and squealed loudly.

The handwriting on the first page of both notebooks _and_ of S’s notes was _identical!_

Neat and tidy. Exactly the same.

He laid back against his pillows, still sitting cross legged, and let out a huge sigh.

He couldn’t believe it! It really _was_ his Hyunwoo hyung _all along! Since high school!_ He loved Hyungwon _so much_!

Hyungwon squealed again.

He sat up and placed the notebooks on the bed and picked up one post-it after another.

_I get so jealous seeing so many others flirting with and talking to you, while I have never talked to you in real life._

That was one of the earliest ones, from high school.

_I love the way you walk. You were born to walk the ramp. Never let your passion go._

_Your legs are so long, they seem like they go on forever and ever. You wearing gym shorts is a blessing to all of humanity._

Hyungwon giggled at this one. His hyung was so cheesy. A warm bubbling had started in his chest. He picked up another.

_No matter what colour you dye your hair, you look always look like the archangel himself. God, even._ My _angel,_ my _God. I wish you knew how much I love you…_

Hyungwon sighed. All this was getting too overwhelming for him, now that he knew his Hyunwoo hyung had written him all this. For him.

He picked up another and read.

_I saw you crying yesterday. Why..? I can’t bear the sight of you crying. It broke my heart and I wanted to cry as well._

_But you know what, you looked gorgeous even then. With all those tears running down your cheeks, you still looked perfect. You’re an angel._

_I wish I could gather you in my arms and hug you tightly, and tell you everything is going to be okay. Because it is. I want to protect you from all the bad things in the world. And I will. I’ll try to, by staying hidden. Somehow._

At this point, tears had started running down his face. His Hyunwoo hyung loved him so much. He had always been there, always loving him.

_I saw you on the cover of Vogue today! I’m so proud of you Hyungwon! I want you to go higher and higher, to keep shining._

_Even if it means I’ll never get you for myself, that I’ll never deserve you, I want you to become the king of the world, keep reaching greater and greater heights._

That’s it! Hyungwon couldn’t take it anymore.

He burst out crying, ugly crying, tears and snot running down his face as he cried his eyes out.

 _He_ was the one who didn’t deserve Hyunwoo. Sweet and caring Hyunwoo. Who had always been there for him.

His S. The guy who had cared from the very start, never wanting anything in return.

How much pain the older had been through, Hyungwon knew.

One of his newest notes had expressed his pain, before Hyunwoo had stopped coming to their room. Since Hyungwon was a masochist apparently, he searched through all the post-its and found the one.

_I don’t know how long I can stand this. You’re so close yet so far away. I want to make you mine… I feel you won’t say yes, and that hurts so much. What hurts more is that I’m not good enough for you. That I never will be._

_I thought I can woo you this year. But I don’t know anymore. It’s becoming unbearable._

_I’m sorry._

_You deserve better._

After that Hyunwoo had stopped writing to him.

Hyungwon got scared. Did Hyunwoo get over him?! Did he let his feelings go?! But it had been just one week…

Then he remembered that he received one today morning.

It was still in his pocket, hence he hadn’t found it in the box.

He quickly leaned back and pulled it out of his jeans pocket.

_I’ll always love you. I’m always here for you. I won’t ever give up on you, on us. I’ll make you mine one day._

_You’re my angel._

_Love,_

_S._

He abruptly stood up and gathered all the notes in his hands clumsily, along with Hyunwoo’s three notebooks and somehow managed to open the door to his room and rushed out.

Thankfully Hyunwoo’s door wasn’t shut closed, but unlocked, though not opened completely.

Hyungwon pushed the door open with his shoulder and stumbled in.

Hyunwoo had pushed his chair back, his legs spread, and back leaning against the backrest of the chair and his eyes closed, ample space between his desk and the chair for his legs.

The laptop was shut and pushed away, leaving the desk with some free space, meaning Hyunwoo would’ve completed the assignments and even emailed it to his professor.

Hyungwon walked in and dumped all the post-its and notes, and then placed the notebooks, on Hyunwoo’s desk.

Hyunwoo sat up immediately at the sound and looked at his desk in horror. He didn’t dare look up at Hyungwon.

He didn’t move an inch, his eyes fixed on the post-its and his open notebooks.

He made the connect. Hyungwon knew.

He had slipped and fallen, he had hurt himself. All due to his mind being busy and somewhere else.

_Shit. It’s all over. Hyungwon knows._

Hyunwoo squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in his palms.

But Hyungwon wouldn’t have any of it.

He immediately dropped to his knees, in between Hyunwoo’s legs and gently removed the older’s hands away from his face.

Hyunwoo looked at him with a resigned expression on his face which immediately turned to alarm when he saw tears flowing down Hyungwon’s cheeks.

“Wonnie-“ He started but Hyungwon immediately silenced him, with a tight hug. His arms held Hyunwoo tightly to his chest, Hyungwon’s fingers tightly clutching the loose fabric of his t-shirt.

Hyunwoo’s eyes widened, his brain not registering what was happening and Hyungwon pulled back immediately, his arms still around the older.

He placed a soft kiss on the older’s cheek, right next to his mouth, tears still flowing down his cheeks, some falling on Hyunwoo’s cheek as well.

He pulled back to see a shocked Hyunwoo and grabbed his hands in his own.

“W-why didn’t y-you t-tell me you loved me this much?! Why did you have to go through s-so much pain?! You could’ve just told me! You idiot!” Hyungwon exclaimed, his voice thick with tears and cracking badly. But he didn’t care.

Hyunwoo’s eyes dropped to their hands, to their intertwined fingers. He felt like his brain was short circuiting. What was happening…

Hyungwon’s voice shook terribly as he continued speaking. “You thought _you_ didn’t deserve _me?! I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you!_ I have been in love with you since high school! You’re my star swimmer, my everything! My Hyunwoo hyung! How could you?!” He lightly punched the older on the chest and cried some more, his eyes red and puffy, his expression turning a little angry. _“How can you let yourself hurt so much?! You hurt my Hyunwoo!”_

Hyunwoo’s heart broke but he was still too shocked to say or do anything. So, he just watched Hyungwon, heard him speak while his heart broke at the tears that kept flowing down his cheeks.

“I _love you, Hyunwoo hyung! Why didn’t you just ask me out?!_ Since the beginning of this year I have been giving you all the possible signs to let you know that I love you! But you still didn’t tell me you’re S! Shownu! Hyunwoo!” Hyungwon shut his eyes once and then opened them after a moment.

“Hyung! Why didn’t you tell me?” Hyungwon completely broke down then, ugly crying again and Hyunwoo hastily wiped away the younger’s tears and cupped his face in his palms.

Looking deeply into his eyes, he spoke barely above a whisper but Hyungwon heard it.

“Because you’re Chae Hyungwon… Top model of South Korea. And I’m a nobody… Why would you have looked at me?”

Hyungwon vehemently shook his head.

“No. Don’t say that. You’re a national level swimmer. An academic genius. But even if you weren’t, it doesn’t matter to me! Because to me, you’re my everything! I _only_ looked at you! Nobody else! _Only you!_ ”

Hyunwoo sighed, looking close to tears himself, as he wiped away a stray tear from Hyungwon’s cheek.

“But we didn’t have time back then. And I had to do _something. Anything._ So, I wrote you one note a day, to give you the love you deserve, to express how I felt. How I feel.” He whispered as he stared into Hyungwon’s sparkling eyes.

“You idiot!” Hyungwon laughed and smacked his arm. “I’m an idiot, as well. I always suspected you are S. More like hoped. My Shownu. You lied to me saying you didn’t have your written notes here. I should’ve asked you out, on my own. But I wanted to confirm that you are S first.” Hyunwoo gave him a sheepish smile, his eyes showing a little bit of confusion. He looked adorable.

He looked up and into Hyunwoo’s gorgeous deep brown eyes and said, “Son Hyunwoo. My S. Will you go out with me? Will you be my boyfriend?”

He looked into Hyunwoo’s eyes with so much hope and love, that the dam in Hyunwoo’s heart broke and he started crying as well.

“Yes!” He exclaimed in a cracked voice, both of them chuckling at their messy states.

Then _finally_ Hyungwon brought his face closer to Hyunwoo’s and pressed his plush, pink and pretty lips on Hyunwoo’s lips.

And it was the best experience Hyunwoo ever had in his life. The best feeling ever.

_Finally,_ Hyunwoo kissed his Hyungwon till the younger moaned at the soft movement of their lips on each other’s, sucking and nipping softly.

 _Finally_ , he kissed Hyungwon till he pulled Hyunwoo closer and closer, gripping him tightly and closely.

 _Finally_ , Hyunwoo ran his fingers through his Hyungwon’s soft hair, pulling him as close as possible, their chests pressing and no space present in between their bodies.

_Finally,_ Hyungwon was his.

Son Hyunwoo’s and Son Hyunwoo’s only.

“So, Mr.McGorgeous huh?” Hyungwon pulled back and smirked at his S.   
Hyunwoo cast his eyes down out of burning shyness as he lightly smacked Hyungwon on the forearm, while his Mr.McGorgeous tried to meet his eyes, still smirking big time.

And yeah, Hyunwoo was never letting him go.

Ever.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of this fic! Did you like it? Was it repetitive? Any constructive criticism is appreciated!
> 
> Comments and kudos make me happy so please do leave some if you like what I have written!
> 
> Thanks for reading! Keeping loving our boys! 🐻🐢

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/shownubear618) | [Tumblr](https://shownuchaes.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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